Screw you

stop beating around the bush
so people will stop hoping
learn to get down the brass tacks
before the drums start blaring

just stop speaking out of your mouth
i’m tired of your cork and bull story
hygiene is a big issue to me
of how painfully tortured my eyes are till they got teary

if only i could chew someone out
but i’ll never do
i’m wiping out the foam at my mouth
because i’m afraid,not a hypocrite,i’m still true
because only great minds think alike
but you’re not
for whatever you say
are just mere words,not your deep thoughts

because action speaks louder than words

because i’m not a devil’s advocate

because you can’t count the chicken before they hatch

so,just stop……talking

Love Of My Life

Love of my life, you hurt me,
You broken my heart, now you leave me.

Love of my life cant you see,
Bring it back bring it back,
Dont take it away from me,
Because you dont know what it means to me.

Love of my life dont leave me,
Youve stolen my love now desert me,

Love of my life cant you see,
Bring it back bring it back,
Dont take it away from me,
Because you dont know what it means to me.

You will remember when this is blown over,
And everythings all by the way,
When I grow older,
I will be there by your side,
To remind how I still love you
I still love you.

Hurry back hurry back,
Dont take it away from me,
Because you dont know what it means to me.

Love of my life,
Love of my life.

Queen was kind of one hell of a great band,weren’t they?Brian May who was a student of Imperial College appears to me as a plus point.Mum said so.I mean,who shouldn’t like this rocker dude with splendid guitar riffs but at the same time has keen interest in astronomy?*salute*

How to define stupid?

The world is full of controversies,all sorts of hoopla,propaganda that influence the less-observant(s) which makes it hard to define stupid.Is it fair to nickname a person stupid for his one-sided view?Neither it is fair to tag the opposing a smart one.The first has limited sources and of a hardcore background till it is most impossible to believe something contradictory to his principles.While,the latter isn’t one who easily believes and hold strong to one new idea despite how observant he is.How is it possible to have my own personal ideas when there are billions of sources out there and none could be 100% genuine and trusted?Maybe,each and everyone of us should have post-it notes glued on our foreheads with “I’m not bias!” or “I believe in what my parents believe” written on them.Well,with that,I shall rephrase the tittle to “HOW TO DEFINE SMART?”.

If only it could be this easy…

Blissful Sunday

Ahad itu yang bahagia

The passing of a Gem

Innalillah.I uttered those words upon hearing the news on the passing of the ever talented director Yasmin Ahmad.Albeit the controversial ideas that she portrayed in every masterpiece she made,be it movies or Petronas ads,I find them amusing in their own ways.I like the idea of inter-racial unity the most.I grew up schooling in a missionary school.I remember every year when school re-opened after the long year end break,getting a nice seat in class was like a game for us;to choose a seat which offered the best view of the chalkboard but at the same time isn’t a strategic target for the teachers to bombard us with questions.Getting a good seat was not complete if a cool table mate did not tag along.Back then,our school made it a rule (sort of) that each one of us were not to be seated next to each other of the same race.Malays and Indians were minorities in my class every year,so we had no choice but to get a table mate of different race.However,I enjoyed it very much.We got close indeed.I’ve had both Chinese and Indian table mates in class.We shared our passion in movies and Johnny Depp.We sat at the same table in the canteen during recess.We chilled under the ‘rain tree’ for PE lessons.We even played rounders together.So,it was just so amazing that the late Yasmin Ahmad pictured these in her movies.The fact that she shot the movie mostly in Ipoh was a plus point because I love my town so much.This town is so serene to reside in with the beautiful limestone hills surrounding the town,the old buildings with the touch of British architecture (like the house of Orked’s family in Sepet and Gubra),the old Ipoh town and Memory Lane (remember Sepet,the scene where Orked met Jason who was selling pirated VCDs) and the historic missionary schools (it was ACS for Sepet and Anderson for Talentime.Correct me if I’m wrong).Yasmin Ahmad made Ipoh looked so beautiful just as how it really is.

Al-fatihah.

p/s:Tan Hong Ming tops my list of favourites.

Lady In Red?

I’m feeling red today.Your definition of red might differ from mine,this red I mean here is superficially deep.Red represents anger,red resembles bravery,red means passion.No one can ever guess it right I bet,but you may give it a shot though.

Persahabatan

Dan seorang remaja berkata, Bicaralah pada kami tentang Persahabatan.

Dan dia  menjawab:
Sahabat adalah keperluan jiwa, yang mesti dipenuhi.
Dialah ladang hati, yang kau taburi dengan kasih dan kau tuai dengan penuh rasa terima kasih.
Dan dia pulalah naungan dan pendianganmu.
Kerana kau menghampirinya saat hati lupa dan mencarinya saat jiwa mahu kedamaian.

Bila dia berbicara, mengungkapkan fikirannya, kau tiada takut membisikkan kata “Tidak” di kalbumu sendiri, pun tiada kau menyembunyikan kata “Ya”.
Dan bilamana dia diam,hatimu berhenti dari mendengar hatinya; kerana tanpa ungkapan kata, dalam  persahabatan, segala fikiran, hasrat, dan keinginan dilahirkan bersama dan dikongsi, dengan kegembiraan tiada terkirakan.
Di kala berpisah dengan sahabat, tiadalah kau berdukacita;
Kerana yang paling kau kasihi dalam dirinya, mungkin kau nampak lebih jelas dalam ketiadaannya, bagai sebuah gunung bagi seorang pendaki, nampak lebih agung daripada tanah ngarai dataran.

Dan tiada maksud lain dari persahabatan kecuali saling memperkaya roh kejiwaan.
Kerana cinta yang mencari sesuatu di luar jangkauan misterinya, bukanlah cinta , tetapi sebuah jala yang ditebarkan: hanya menangkap yang tiada diharapkan.

Dan persembahkanlah yang terindah bagi sahabatmu.
Jika dia harus tahu musim surutmu, biarlah dia mengenali pula musim pasangmu.
Gerangan apa sahabat itu jika  kau sentiasa mencarinya, untuk sekadar bersama dalam membunuh waktu?
Carilah ia untuk bersama menghidupkan sang waktu!
Kerana dialah yang bisa mengisi kekuranganmu, bukan mengisi kekosonganmu.
Dan dalam manisnya persahabatan, biarkanlah ada tawa ria dan berkongsi kegembiraan.. Kerana dalam titisan kecil embun pagi, hati manusia menemui fajar dan ghairah segar kehidupan.
~ Khalil Gibran

p/s:I read and listen to different perspectives of others,I try to consider or re-consider ideas,but stop judging me,I would still think they are wrong as they are,or they are right if they are.

Insyaallah

He it is Who sent down As-Sakinah (calmness and tranquility) into the hearts of the believers, that they may grow more Faith along with their  (present) Faith. And to Allah belong the hosts of the heavens and the earth, and Allah is Ever All-Knower, All-Wise. [Al-Fath: 4]

Insyaallah,with all the happiness bestowed upon us,let us all prostrate to Allah for the blissful hours,days and weeks and never to forget Him at our highs and lows.

All good things must come to an end.My 2nd year of med school is nearing.As much as I’m dreading it for the long distance that I’ll be,deep down I know,I have to face it because being in my comfort zone does no good for me.More harm indeed.With my best effort,I’m trying to appreciate these very few weeks left in Malaysia before I start ‘hibernating’ in another place,far from where I want to be.I’ll be looking forward to Eid-Fitri this time because I’ll be celebrating it here in Malaysia.Insyaallah.

Salam Ukhuwah!

Alhamdulillah,thank you Allah.With His blessings,I’m allowed to be back home once again for a long semester break this time.And,alhamdulillah,I arrived healthily without any flu-like symptom,that could possibly got me quarantined.Alhamdulillah too,that I am now a potential sophomore in medical school after surviving the first year.

Most think that medical students are these superior beings who read tons of super thick medical books and remember each fact word by word and call us geniuses.I’m sorry but I do not agree to that ridiculous thought.Just for the fact that soon-to-be docs are required to learn almost everything?From physics to statistics to ethics?In my humble opinion,I will never agree to that.Yes,my medical schoolmates are smart but my other mates are smart too.Aren’t architects,biochemists,art teachers,actuarial scientists,musicians and reporters great too?I,without little hesitation nor embarrassment rigidly am standing by my sister’s side when she chose to be in the art stream.Because she knows what she wants to do.Because she believes in her own potentials.And,I do believe in her too.

How smart a person is and how far a person can go are not 100 percent a matter of academic qualifications. The most percentage would definitely be denoted by how a person carries himself and his determination for improvement.How could Oprah Winfrey make it big when years ago she was no one. And unfortunately, these are no lessons learnt from classes in school but we gain them little by little from life experience.And,again alhamdulillah, living away from home in another country of different culture and different lifestyle,I’m experiencing a life lesson that is absolutely ascending by its contents vigorously.

However,I’m enjoying my school break.Lots to do and lots to learn.Till then.

Cabaran dan dugaan

“Allah tidak akan memberikan sesuatu ketetapan melainkan dengan kemampuan hambaNya“

In the midst of preparing for mid-term exams which comprises of 3 papers of minor subjects;Bioethics and Humanities Programme, Community Research Programme and Islamic Studies, I was bestowed upon with an unlucky event,some might say,but I’d rather call it an obstacle than JUST an event. Mak said, “You’ve went through a lot, and you’ve been patient all the way.There is sure something good for you out there in the time to come,Allah will always be with you.“

Alhamdulillah, I’m going through this obstacle coming out just fine.Even stronger I hope.

Maaf kerana tidak punya kesempatan dan kemudahan untuk update Jurnal Maya.

p/s: Kalau Kartu Izin Tinggal Terbatas saya siap sebelum Rabu, saya akan pulang ke tanah air tercinta Rabu petang. Sekadar memberi informasi.

My Fairytale

I feel fresh after a work-out in the gym. I miss those days when I had the time, the friends, the place to play basketball and tennis. The first is my favourite sport since school while the latter is another sport that I decided to try since a good friend of mine represented for Kelantan in tennis ( thanks buddy! *hats off*) I did 2km of treadmill in 20 mins plus another 20mins of cycling and some lower limb muscles toning activities. That’s just a little update of my activities over here, no one wants to know much about it anyway, just to begin with.

masterpiece by Farhan & Amaleena

Palestine has not been freed from intruders, and Perak is in chaos already. I wonder is there anywhere on this holy wide world where politics rule just the right way. Politics make me scared of growing up. I want to stay in my fairy tales world still…where Alice freely roaming in Wonderland, Wendy and the brothers fly to Neverland, and Prince Charming who rides a white horse marry a girl who is abused by her stepmother and stepsisters. Simply because I would have nothing to worry of. Simply because the good ones would end up live happily ever after. I do not care when some other 16 year old kids are trying to grow up too soon believing that life as an adult is full of bliss; they get to watch 18 rated movies, they get to go clubbing, they get to go anywhere freely, they get to be in uni where school uniforms are off. Worldly pleasures are fatal, fatal for the pure innocent hearts.
Growing up is hard. What with the peer pressure, uni life isn’t that ‘lovely’ kids, there are still bumps here and there, stressful days of studying, and the limited time for your own self. Over and over again, there are times when I want to be in bed for the rest of the day when I’m not in school because I want to leave off problems. I’d cuddle that teddy in my arms, wrap myself head to to toe in the duvet, both ears plugged with mp3 that plays softly to the tunes of piano instrumental and let reality stay behind for a while till Problems are tired chasing after me and they stop eventually. Then, I’ll be back into reality. How immature I know, I have not left Neverland nor Wonderland. And I still want to be in Toy’s Story.
This is how I am when Control System Block Exam is nearing, well, nearing sounds far still, for a fact, tomorrow is the exam. I have loads to catch up with, but my mind isn’t just here. Worldly pleasure kills, I know, it isn’t as painful as a sword stabbing the heart, neither it is painful as menstrual cramps but the after effect of worldly pleasure, once you are taken back to reality, it hurts so much that you’ll find it hard to tell anyone, because it is undescribable.

And, this is for Ber,(but I ain’t tagging no one aye,sorrrrryyyy…)

DIRECTION: Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At last, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.

1. I’m like a sloth. I sleep,and I sleep, and I sleep.
2. I’m afraid of cockroaches, just as I am afraid of snakes too.
3. New people I meet tells me I’m this rough, independent girl, in reality I’m not. Trust me, you have not known me well if you think so.
4. I’ve fallen in love only once and I haven’t been since then.
5. Don’t try to understand what I have on my YM status message because most of the time, you’ll guess it wrong.
6. I write with my right hand but I do some things with my left one like carrying bags. Dr. Yudi said people who use both hands, use both their brain hemispheres too. *pukes*
7. Referring to num. 7, I like Dr. Yudi’s lectures so much, he’s this one smart doctor who hypnotizes and hangs out with his students in the canteen and yak just like youngsters do with his two fingers twisting cigarette.
8.I hate politics but I’m not that ignorant, I know my responsibilities as a Malaysian citizen.
9. I wish that I can go to Europe or Australia or New Zealand and Bali, Jakarta, Bandung while I’m still in my studying years.
10.Initially, I always dream of being a O&G specialist but now I’m not. I think dealing with Syphilis and Gonorhoea day to day is gross! I’m thinking of Paediatrics.
11. <—–I love this number !
12.I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a crybaby.
13. I connect well with people who read books a lot and watch no-nonsense movies.
14. I am a movie freak too!
15. I love fairytales, and I still imagine of being in a land where there are colourful flowers, talking bunnies, evil witches and friendly gnomes.
16.I don’t understand why people wear Crocs!????